On June 25th, on a windy and chilly Saturday morning, working on only 4 hours sleep, Sang Kim stepped into the Francis Drake Hotel overlooking San Francisco’s Union Square Park and began his first active day as Stage Director.The task at hand being conducting auditions to cast our 13 cast members.
[…ooooooohhh… sounds so terribly impressive doesn’t it? It’s like the opening narration of a really bad movie trailer. Let’s go with that shall we]
But then something went wrong…
ME: Ohmygod! Something’s gone wrong!
It was the last thing he expected…
ME: Shit. That was totally the last thing I expected.
And now the ones he loves the most will have to pay the price…
ME: Hey you… you’re gonna have to pay for this because I forgot my wallet.
From Director Michael Bay
ME: Why the hell did that script just explode like that?
And Producer Jerry Bruckheimer…
ME: Excuse me scantily clad lady. Could you stop dancing on my table and get off my day planner? You’re creasing July.
Casting Call
ME: Seriously? We’re going with that title?
June 2005
So today being July 15th, things worked out in the end but since I’ve neglected this web log of mine, I’ve decided to recap my experience for that very long day.
Lotsa coffee… whew. That about sums it up.
We had about 60 or so actors show up and I saw them at hour long intervals. I had them perform pages from the play… and from pages I wrote up a few days earlier to give some characters some more meatier audition material.
But lets get to the good stuff… how were the actors? Well. I got the cast I needed. And they’re going to do great… but note that this is said in hindsight. At the time there was a lot of doubt whether I was going to find the people I needed.
Some of the auditioners were truly bad. I’m not talking about those who didn’t get the material, or don’t audition well, or made odd character choices. I’m talking about the truly damned. If I there was a large paper bag, there would have been a lot of people unable to get out of it… causing a panic and then they would have to eat each other for sustenance.
Then there were the ones who would never be cast but damn if they didn’t make me laugh & smile. I will never hear “I wanna be sedated” and “like a virgin” the same way again.
Explanation: As part of the audition and to create a fun atmosphere, I had each actor read from a selection of popular songs and re-intepret it into a jazzy lounge act number… something popularized by Saturday Night Live (Bill Murray singing Star Wars for instance).
Well I certainly got more than I wanted… women old enough to be my grandmother (if my grandmother was white) crooned “Like a Virgin” and touched themselves provocatively, men pushing 60, ran around the room screaming the Ramones, and one surly actress in a wheelchair put special emphasis on the lyrics, “I can’t control my fingers. I can’t control my toes. Put me in a wheelchair. Before I have to go.”
These special auditioners along with my cast (13 all accounted for) made it fun and worthwhile especially during the abyss of death during two particularly painful hours. There’s no shame in being a bad actor… there is shame for not being able recognize that.
After 5PM, auditions drew to a close, I ran home, had to go to a wedding with my co-workers where I drank more than I should to the point where I woke my next door neighbors at 3AM to get my spare keys because I forgot them, passed out and proceeded to spend the next few days offering parts, and calling people to turn them down.
Telling actors that they didn’t get a part is not hard…telling a friend who happens to be an actor that you didn’t get a part is just an awful place to be. Luckily, if any of them are mad then they’re not saying which is fine by me.
Next War Journal – The First Cast Reading…
This BLOG was brought to you by Brian Eno’s “This”
Random Sang Trivia: At age 17, a now convicted sex offender once tried to hypnotize Sang. Luckily, the hypnotism didn’t work but Sang continues to have a strong distrust of hypnotists and magicians
